I love my name and respond to it in the same, organic way I respond to my birth name. Bastienne is the female version of the name Bastian, the main character from the movie Neverending Story. Before I did Domination, I (jokingly) chose Bastienne as a name to refer to the side of me that emerges when I'm PMSing. Yup. My domination name comes from having bad periods. I would say "Bastienne is here" and significant others would turn tail and flee. This alter ego would get blamed for a lot of drama, and I truly struggled to accept her as a part of me. As a generally easy going person, I'd let a lot of things slide but Bastienne would show up at the end of the month and clean house. When I got into Domination, she finally had a place she belonged.
Although she was at the root of every problem I had, she ended up being the solution as well. I gave up on avoiding, ignoring and repressing Bastienne, it proved impossible, she was an immovable presence, unaffected by my weak attempts at extinction. I started leaning in and listening to what she wanted, considering if these are things I could do, articulating the urges into words. She wanted control, a lot of control. Stepping into Bastienne feels like I'm energetically drawing everything towards me while remaining entirely still, focused, quiet and ready. Sometimes I can even feel my eyes dilate, entering into consumption mode with the rest of my being. Bastienne is always hungry and seeks to destroy, she is a true succubus. There is a baseline of anger that feeds this character which is never expressed in outbursts but rather through sheer, sick joy. Bastienne feeds at the apex of a humiliating act. The look of regret is what she truly wants, it's what she's waiting for and when she sees it, she laughs in genuine delight. She will stalk you patiently until you forfeit, nothing less will do, then she'll feast.
You don't need you to call me Mistress or Goddess, although you can if you like, it does nothing for me. What I really want to hear is my name, just call me Bastienne.
Lovely, little sadist living in Toronto, Ontario. This is my journal, where my brain gets to play.