You may not know this about me but I've got a sweet spot in my heart for sissies. Like many fetishes, its origins are confusing. Part of me loves the fact that a man is drawn to emulate a woman, they could do anything they want in the sexual spectrum and they choose to feminize themselves. It's like a roundabout compliment in a way. The other part of me resents that this is done as an act of humiliation for some. Done behind closed doors, an embarrassing secret. I suppose my role is to meld these two perspectives, to coax and seduce the sissy out from the darkness of shame and into the beauty and power of femininity.
I had an amazing session with my favourite sissy, let's call him Danielle. He usually has a lovely, deep, soothing voice but that won't do for a sissy at all. I dressed him in lingerie, blindfolded him and tied him to the bed. Danielle is resistant to his nature so the restraints were more of a psychological aid than anything. Danielle tries to revert to vanilla/hetero normative behaviour regularly, although he just doesn't belong there. I want Danielle to come out and be my girlfriend, I want us to bask in feminine energy together and leave behind the ideas of what sex should look like.. and sound like.
With Danielle fully fixated on the sounds around him, I demonstrate. I start playing with myself beside him, this is what a woman sounds like when she's turned on, beckoning arousal from others with her breath and subtle noises. Danielle's turn. She's resistant, giggling, uncomfortable. Her laughter is met with my big, pink dildo being forced into her mouth. Try again. Danielle works well with discipline, she doesn't love gagging on that dildo with no way to resist, moaning seems the better option now. She moans and I direct her to beg me. Beg me to rub her wet clit so she can cum, cum with that nice, pink cock in her mouth. It's all about positive association. If she associates the positive sensation of an orgasm with the feeling of my strap on deep in her throat, she'll soon start to crave my cock all the time. Just like I wanted.
I had a lovely little chat with a friend today about the creativity that's involved in BDSM. As the Dominant, I feel like I'm a storyteller, my submissive gives me the bare-bones, the acts they want to experience, their limits, their kinks. From there it's my role to weave that into something real, believable and often unpredictable.
How do you surprise someone with an action that they've explicitly told you they want performed?
That's the fun part about being given the reigns: the freedom of creativity and the possibility of surprising someone with their own plot. In my experience, that's the key to gaining loyalty from submissives.
Fetishes come from somewhere real, somewhere hidden, some place that needs the sweetness of our sexuality to dilute the bitterness of its darkness. It moves first through the filter of our sexuality, into our periphery. From there we can choose to bring it into the foreground or let it dance in the corner of our eyes forever.
Luna & I had an amazing session this past week with someone who had been bullied in High School. He wanted us to dress like bratty teenage girls, teasing and verbally humiliating him while we deprived him of oxygen and spit in his face. There's a big difference between a contrived fantasy and a deep kink. Both are lovely, the later is breathtaking to witness. I knew how to exact the difference out of this submissive, I asked "What did they call you?" His immediate look of shame and down-cast gaze made my eyes dilate like a predator that just caught a glimpse of it's dinner. That weak spot. That dark place. I'm in.
We proceeded to have an awesome session, genuinely making each other laugh at this guys expense. We even waited until mid session to "steal his lunch money" aka the session fee. He bounded into the other room so fast to grab his wallet, Luna & I howled with laughter.
After he left, I got a nice text from him saying that the whole session was amazing but his favourite part might've been standing at the elevator afterwards listening to us burst into genuine laughter down the hall after he had left. These are my favourite kind of sessions.
From Vanilla to Peanut Butter Crunch...
When I started selling my panties online 3 years ago, I had no idea it would lead me here. Power has always been at the heart of my sexuality, it just took a little prompting for me fully accept that. Thankfully I've always attracted submissive men, although I didn't always know what to do with them...
Here's to accepting yourself, forcing beauty upon any situation and having fun in the process!
Thanks for visiting my journal, stay tuned.
Lovely, little sadist living in Toronto, Ontario. Spanking my way from one side of Canada to the other.